Tuesday, January 10, 2012

My soul mate and I had to make a heart wrenching decision and that is to put him into a nursing home. Hospice convinced us it's time and he needs round the clock care now. His doctor called me today and said there is nothing more she can do for him. I know in my heart that Earl isn't going to get better but I think I've been in just a little bit of denial because he's always come through whatever God handed him. Cancer more than once, a blood infection, open heart surgery, numerous other ailments. Deep down I have to believe he will come through this, too.


Caffey said...

Tory, my heart feels for you! I'm thinking of you both so much!

Maria D. said...

I feel really bad for you with this, I know you agonized over the decision. I will pray that everything turns out for the best.

Nancy Bristow said...

Debbie...Years ago my family experienced this situation with my Dad. There was no choice and it hurt like hell. All I can offer from the experience is to take each day as it comes and cherish whatever time you get to spend together.

Denial may seem comforting right now but consider what it may cost later. I don't know but Earl might need you in the moment with him and know that you're wearing your big girl pants.

It's wonderful to want best case scenario but if positions were reversed would you not want acknowledgement of what is really going down? Wouldn't it be freeing to not have to pretend?

Only you, of course, know best what is good for you and will act accordingly.

Mine is just another point of view as I ask questions of what I would want from my soul mate in the same situation. Having an 800 pound gorilla in the room and not having it acknowledged would make me ballistic. Truth be known, I would not stand for it. I need honesty with myself and the person I love best. Only then would I not feel alone.

I hold all good thoughts for you. ~Nancy

Virginia C said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. My heart goes out to you and all of your family. Please let me know if I can help in any way. I am a good sounding board! Don't forget to be a caregiver for yourself during this time. Do what you are able to do, and don't worry about the rest. Take care!

tammy ramey said...

i am so sorry this has happened. i will keep you in my prays.


Tory Richards said...

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and advice. I never in a hundred years thought I'd be in this position. Neither did Earl, I'm sure. But like Nancy said below, we are taking it one day at a time. And I know when the end is near I will do everything in my power to be with him.

And Virginia you are so right! I forgot to take my own meds for three days because of my situation with Earl.