I hope you've reached the right place, and I hope that you're over eighteen. This website is for adults only. No, I don't sell adult toys or videos or anything like that, this isn't a porn site. But it is the site of an erotic romance writer.


If you're looking for a steamy read, long, short or in between, where the characters are all over each other, get down and dirty, than I can guarantee that you will find something here. I'm going to level with you, my erotic romances are explicit and graphic in nature, but they all have happily forever or happily for now endings.


Enter at your own risk!


BLOG BELOW

TORY RICHARDS

Erotic Author

Friday, February 4, 2011

Pregnancy, Oestrogen, and Women

PREGNANCY ISSUES

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a cyclone might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word 'child support payment' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.


WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'OESTROGEN ISSUES'

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You 're using your mobile phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: 'How's my driving-call 0800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space.'
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy..
10. The Nurofen Plus box is empty and you bought it yesterday.

THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
OTHER WOMEN

3 comments:

marybelle said...

OMG!!! I laughed so much, especially about the cyclone being likened to an air current. We have just gone through a Category 5 cyclone here in QLD, AUSTRALIA. (A big,big Daddy of a storm.)

marypres@gmail.com

Tory Richards said...

OMG! Was there much damage?

Nancy Bristow said...

Debbie...Good laughs:) ~Nancy