Monday, February 21, 2011

Look Who's Here Today!

While I don't know much about Dr. Laina Turner's writings what she's written below is very interesting and makes me want to read more. This is part of her virtual book tour with Goddess Fish Promotions from 1/31-4/22. You can visit their website to see where some of her other stops are.

“Life cannot subsist in society but by reciprocal concessions.” Samuel Johnson

I am very much a person who doesn’t like compromise, which I blame on the fact I’m an only child. I guess that means I can blame my parents. I don’t like to apologize or ever admit I’m wrong. I like to say it’s because being wrong happens so infrequently but then if I said that I would sound conceited (please know I’m kidding). I just like things my way. However, one thing I’ve learned is life can be much better when you can compromise. I know that to be true in theory even if I don’t always do it in practice. Even if you think your way, your idea, is much better. It doesn’t always have to be your way. A compromise isn’t giving in or giving away your perceived power, as I used to think of it. Really, it can be the opposite. If you compromise, then that person will be more willing to compromise in the future, or they should hopefully. It’s the whole pick your battles thing, it’s not always worth fighting over. But in a pure form, without ulterior motives, compromising just shows you recognize the other persons value, their contribution. Just don’t make the mistake of compromising your personal values and ethics. Because from that can be a hard recovery.

Good compromise can come from good communication and good communication isn’t always easy. In fact, poor communication can often be a big issue in any relationship personal or professional. I have pretty good business communication skills and really poor personal communication skills, which may seem strange except for the fact I’m confident business wise and not as much with my personal emotions. I’ve never liked to talk about things that require a less than clinical, businesslike approach. I often prepare an agenda when discussing sensitive, personal information so I can keep my thoughts objective. I’ve never been a touchy, feely person for the most part, so I ignore my emotions rather than talk about them. I’m usually “fine” and if you ask too many questions, I go to what my ex calls the apple pie method. That’s when someone asks “How do you really feel?” to which you respond, “This is good pie” or whatever you might have in front of you at the time. You distract, change the subject and hope they forget that they asked you a question. Unfortunately, once people get to know you they figure it out and you can’t always escape and let’s face it, you have to talk about things that bother you or that are an issue or it will never get solved. You can’t be successful in a personal relationship without communication that is calm and rational. Not easy when personal communication has so much emotion in it. I’m not saying you can never have a heated conversation. Sometimes that can get out a lot of emotion as long as it doesn’t go too far.


Chiczofrenia – crazy is an art form – released January 2011.

Chiczofrenic is the term for the woman who is purposeful and intentional in how crazy her life may be. The goal with this book is to recognize many women drive themselves crazy, intentionally, by trying to be all they can. I firmly believe we can have it all. A great relationship, being a great mom, keeping a good house (if that’s important to you), being a career woman, following your dreams, working out, eating right, and many more. Women seem to have the knack for how to manage it all and not go crazy. Women seem to always take on more and more…and are successful at it.

Women have tried forever to pretend they fit in the norm even when the norm wasn’t what they wanted. I want women to embrace that more - without caring what anyone thinks. Learn to laugh at your own craziness and be cool at the same time. Be the strong individual you want to be while looking like a million bucks.

Being a woman is difficult and is a constant evolution and journey of self discovery. It’s not always an easy journey and through the process you realize everyone has her own issues. Her own brand of crazy, which is my own kind of normal. Crazy but embracing it.

ISBN: 978-0-578-07034-6
Book: $14.95 Available on
E-Book: $9.95 Available on Kindle and Smashwords

Who the hell am I?

I really had no idea who I was for a long time. Do you? I used to think I had somewhat of an idea. Ok, you caught me. I really thought I knew. I thought from a very early age I was destined to be a ball busting businesswomen superbitch. I probably read too many Jackie Collins books where there were beautiful, strong kick-ass women. Does that make me sound bad? It probably should. The entire time I was thinking it, living it, it sounded just dandy to me. I mean who wouldn’t want to be a ball busting superbitch? (Now all I needed was a cape!) It took me a long time to realize that being a ball busting superbitch wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Then it took me even longer to figure out what it is I wanted to be, and I’m still not sure. What I did figure out is that what I was doing what I thought was expected of me. It was this other persona, an alter ego if you will. How the hell did I ever conjure up this “person” I thought I was supposed to be, to portray? I have absolutely no idea. I just know that I started down the ball busting superbitch path and kept going like the energizer bunny and never once stopped to think about what I was doing and if it was what I wanted or what made me happy. Until that one day I woke up and thought WTF? Why am I doing this? How did I get to this place where I was doing so much for so many others, trying to live up to their expectations, and in the midst of it all forgetting who I was?

1 comment:

June M. said...

I think we are all crazy at times!