Friday, January 28, 2011


The following questions were asked in last year's GED examination.
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds')............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (At least they get to travel!)

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true!)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized? (e.g. The abdomen.)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..(WTF!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie. (This person has a career in politics awaiting!)

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work.)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Cesarean section'.
A. The Cesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit!)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable!)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like tiny umbrellas.

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

These people vote -- They are the future generation -- America Is Dead!!!


Cammie said...

LMAO! A bit sobering to think these are the people who will eventually decide the course of the world, but at least we will go with a smile :)

Thanks for such a funny post to bring a smile to my day!

Tara W said...

Scary is right, so why does most of these answers put a smile on my face?

elaing8 said...

oh wow (its all I got to say)

snulfers said...

LOL Thank you for this post it gave me a laugh after a hard time.

Daun Ann said...

Too funny. Loved them. Makes me scared this is our future.

rougebolo said...

I hope my son (16) is a little smarter then this.

desitheblonde said...

hey that sound like my professor did to us in english and some ask answered the same question

LuAnn said...

A condominium!!! hahahahaha

msquare said...

I laughed too, and then I had to just sit back and wonder where we will be in twenty years. This trend has been happening for some time - look at every hit television show on right now; it is a knock-off of one from Great Britian. We have lost our originality, drive, individuality and our iniative.
If you want to find the future world leaders look outside of the U.S.

squiresj said...

What a laugh? That would make a good book about comedy. I guess when a kid don't know the answer they'll come up with anything just to write something down.
I found the answers to put a smile on my face too.
jrs362 at hotmail dot com

Nancy Bristow said...

Debbie...Both funny and scary. IF the parents of these 16 year old students are unaware and IF the answers were in the majority rather than minority, then we're in world of hurt for real. In which case, I have to laugh so I don't kill myself;) ~Nancy

Tory Richards said...

Good morning everyone! Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comments. I have to agree with you, scary but funny and hopefully the minority! But like one of you said, if it is true at least we'll go out with a smile.

I see a lot of new readers here. Welcome!

Meljprincess said...

These answers cracked me up. Seriously I laughed 'til I coughed.
Nice way to start my morning. :-)

Anne said...

What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant)

This person must have been making a joke when he/she answered. I can't believe the type of people who answered the other questions would even know how to pronounce the word.

These were really funny. I love hearing about the candidates in The darwin Awards too.

Tory Richards said...


Mercy said...

OMG LMAO that is hilarious. I would say thank goodness Im an Aussie, but I fear our answers would be just as alarming.

Tory Richards said...

Yeah, there's nuts all over the world:)