Whoohoo!!

Three-day weekend coming my way! Hoping to finish up a short story and get the first round of edits done for Talk Dirty to Me.

Will have to give hubby some, too. He wants to clean the windows:(

I'm Editing!

My editor from Ellora's Cave has been in touch and we've begun edits for Talk Dirty to Me. I'm so excited about this book. For several reasons. One, because it's with Ellora's Cave. They're the #1 leading erotic romance epublisher around right now. Two, it's my first official erotic romance. If you like explicit, super hot romances my friends, you'll love this story. I confess it makes me blush!

My hubby thinks he's funny but he's such an ass sometimes. Syfy-Saturday is my favorite day of the week. Most of you already know that. I don't get out of my jammies, don't answer the phone or the door, don't go anywhere but to my faithful old recliner. It's my day to do nothing.

Well, I stayed home from work on Monday with a headache. When I finally crawled out of bed I went to the living room, and reached for the remote. Thought I might catch a little of the morning news. He informs me it's his Monday Movies day. Course I couldn't help laughing because he was sitting there with a stupid grin on his face.

Monday Man Candy

He's a cutie!

Boy what a rain storm I had to drive home from work in today. I turned my radio off so I could enjoy the sound. Not much I could do to see, though. I swear there were times that I didn't even know where I was. I stayed off I-4 and took the back way home. Didn't get past 40 miles an hour. Anyway, I wanted to share a little tip with you. When you're driving in the rain wear your sun glasses. I swear you can see much better with them on! Try it next time, you'll be amazed.

UNDERWEAR DUST

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!

I won't be around much today my friends. Have a date with the girls! We're meeting for lunch and then for whatever follows. Probably a little shopping. Doesn't matter to me. Just spending time with them, we always have a great time. My niece just returned from a two-week cruise so she'll have lots to talk about. Have a good Saturday!

Oh, by the way, I joined Twitter! Not sure what it's about yet but I'm there.

Tootles!

Hey my friends, I just got a new review for THE SENATOR'S DAUGHTER! My Overstuffed Bookshelf gave it 5 flames...you can check it out here if you're interested.

Is there a full moon out or something?

I've been off all week. I missed my nail appointment a couple days ago. This morning I went grocery shopping. I handed the girl checking me out a Win Dixie discount card and she very nicely informed me that I was at Publix. Needless to say the man behind me got a good chuckle out of it. Then I went to McDonald's and tried to order breakfast at lunch time.

I told my daughter I couldn't come up today because I had a doctor's appointment first thing. That turns out to be next Friday. So we're gonna meet for lunch tomorrow. You know how I feel about my syfy Saturdays. But I didn't hesitate from saying I'd meet her. Give up a chance to spend some time with her and my granddaughter? Never!

Tina Gayle

Hey, Tina Gayle has stopped in today, with another hot book cover and some info about Youthful Temptations!

Blurb

A widow with two grown children, Linda Clayton is ready to let loose and have some fun. Jilted at a party, she met a younger man, Vaughn Reagan. He has an active imagination and allures her into his life by tempting her with seductive games.

Vaughn is thrilled to find a woman who doesn’t want children. He offers Linda a job so he can spend his days with her. Now, if he could only convince her to forget their age difference and enjoy the nights in his arms.

Excerpt

"Damn it, why can’t he ever be home when I need him?" She turned and glared at Vaughn. "Who are you, and what do you want? I’m telling you, I’m not in the mood to put up with anything at the moment."

The light streaming through the patio doors showed the angry set of her mouth and the heated look in her eyes. The red flush of her face displayed her irritation. He wondered if it’d deepen to the same crimson shade when she was excited. A faint light flashed. She snapped her cell phone shut indicating she’d been trying to call someone.

Not surprised by her reaction to him interrupting her, Vaughn raised his hands to show her he meant no harm. "Can’t say I blame you with the way Philip treated you. He can be a real prick at times, especially if you’re balking at his current pet project."

"And exactly why does he hanker for a wife and a child?" She pointed her cell phone at Vaughn’s chest. "Because I’ll tell you, marrying a woman just to produce kids is a really bad idea."

"I couldn’t agree with you more." Vaughn stepped forward and held out his hand. He craved her touch and the sensation of the fast beat of her pulse against his fingers. "By the way, I’m Vaughn Reagan. Philip introduced us at the start of the evening."

Her forehead wrinkled, and she tilted her head slightly to the right.

Vaughn added Philip’s earlier description. "I’m the computer nerd who works at home and never gets out."

"Oh, yeah, shows you what a total idiot he is." She shifted her phone to her other hand.

She closed her cold fingers around his, and their palms touched briefly. The image of her hand stroking other parts of his body teased his mind with erotic possibilities. He released his grip and reminded himself to take it slow. Six months marked a long enough dry spell to suffer without a date.

"My son is working on his degree in computer science," she added and slipped her hand from his. "And even though he doesn’t travel much, he’s brilliant. He surfs the Net and learns all sorts of useful facts. Knows more about the world than anyone I’ve ever met."

"Yes, well, the Web can be a lonely place. Chat rooms and cybersex don’t provide much of a physical connection." His words registered. At the same time, she jerked back with a shocked look on her face. "I mean . . ."

She shook her head, her full lips quirking into a grin. "I know what you mean." Her gaze shifted to the people still inside the house. "But sometimes I think companionship is overrated."

"No, there are jerks everywhere." He crowded closer and pointed to her phone. "But I can’t blame you for wanting to leave. Bill and Karen are nice neighbors, but some of their friends are less than polite."

"So you live around here, too?"

"Next door." He pointed over her right shoulder. She turned, and her arm brushed his shirt.

A sweet fragrance tickled his senses, almost the same scent as fresh-baked cookies. He drew in a deeper breath and identified the alluring scent.

Vanilla. His mouth watered for a taste.

She glanced back over her shoulder. The sexy pose plunged his heart into overdrive. "That really is close."

"Yes, and it provides an easy way to escape the boring company of fools." He forced himself to step around her and held out his hand. "Why don’t you run away with me?"

Her hair caught by the wind blew across her face and blocked his ability to read her expression.

She shoved the silky auburn strands out of her eyes and frowned. "That’s not a very good idea. I don’t even know you."

"Yes, but are you sure you’d like to return to the party?" He read the answer on her face. The light from the sliding glass door lit the frown forming on her lips and the subtle narrowing of her eyes.

The notion of her going home with him caused excitement to race through him, and he tried to remember if the place appeared presentable.

"No, but if forced to choose between the devil I know and the devil I don’t . . ." She strolled forward and laid her hands in his. "I guess you win."

"Good, you won’t regret it."

Purchase at www.amirapress.com

Miss Beatrice, the church organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cute glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.

Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

Whoohoo!!!

Wait till y'all see the book cover for Talk Dirty to Me!

I spent the whole day Friday with my little granddaughter, and on Saturday we found out she has strep throat. Poor little thing. My daughter stayed home from work the last two days with her. Now I think I'm trying to come down with it. So I've been drinking air borne, hoping to fight it off.

Keep your fingers crossed for me:)

For all you cat lovers out there, me included. Thought you might get a kick out of this picture. I have a friend who has 9 cats, she could use the bookcase. What a great idea!

Monday Man Candy

Um...ah...um...I like his abs, his powerful neck, his abs, his muscular arms, his abs...

Happy Saturday

Moi has a new interview up over at Novel Sister Hood!
Also, a new review in for The Cowboy Way! Woohoo!!! Read what Manic Readers had to say.

Retiree Bathub

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "how do you determine whether or not a retiree should be put in an old age home?"

"Well he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the retiree and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand, "I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the tea cup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the window, or do you want a bed next to mine?

Girl's Weekend Getaway

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip - shopping, casinos, massages, facials.

Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going.

Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.

"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night............ Yesterday evening I was
sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"

I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit. He took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose petals all over.............On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want."

So here I am.

WICKED DESIRE

Naughty excerpt...

Matt only got as far as his truck before turning back around. Maggie hadn’t shut the door yet. He sucked in his breath. She was still there, standing in the threshold and watching him, with the soft glow of the living room light behind her. His gaze raked over her slender silhouette, and the way the light was shining through her nightgown. She might as well have been naked. He felt a burning need uncoil in his gut. Why couldn’t he just walk away? He knew why, because he was thoroughly bewitched by her.

As she continued to stand there, he took in the hourglass shape of her, the way her legs were slightly parted, and the shadowy patch between that her skimpy panties outlined. He swallowed hard. His eyes continued to follow the shapely line of her thighs and legs down to her bare feet, before shifting back up to the rounded fullness of her breasts.

His mouth went dry. His senses went into overdrive and his cock lengthened and grew with hunger. He hesitated for only a second before deciding to walk back. The thought of spending the night in Maggie’s bed far outweighed his intention of sleeping in his truck outside her door. He forced her to step out of his way as he plowed through the entrance way, telling himself all he wanted was a quick lay. Only the truth was he wanted more from Maggie.

Damn her!

“Forget something?”

Matt closed and locked the door, never taking his eyes off her. The sexy softness of her voice traveled over him, teasing his senses and keeping him aroused. He forced her to turn, then steered her toward the stairs that led to the loft, and her bedroom. “You said you have wants too, so let’s get to it.” He was right behind her.

He knew he was being crude but reminding Maggie of her earlier comment was a good excuse to ignore the real reason he wanted to make love to her.

A nervous laugh escaped her. “Right this minute?” She was halfway up the stairs and turned to face him. Seductive eyes moved slowly over him, pausing at his hard-on.

He didn’t like the little smile of victory on her face and clenched his teeth. “What better time?” He just barely managed to catch himself before mowing her over. His hands grasped the rails on either side of her, effectively entrapping her. With her several steps above him, his eyes were level with her breasts. An inch forward and he could take one in his mouth and wipe that smile of triumph right off her face. “Since I’m in the neighborhood, and in the mood,” he explained. “Thanks to you.”

“But I didn’t do anything,” she defended herself. “I’m innocent. No one made you come here tonight,” she pointed out.

Matt wanted to mate. His laugh was low and throaty. “Innocent!” he barked with disbelief.
“You knew exactly what you’re doing, Red. You have from the beginning. And I’ve been playing right into your hands.”

“But…”

Matt let his gaze slide downward in a slow sweep that had to tell Maggie exactly what he was feeling. “No buts, honey, and no emotions, just raw, hot sex. A lot of it.” Her eyes rounded but she remained silent. “Nothing to say?” he demanded softly. “Good, than we know where we stand.” For every step he took forward, Maggie took one backwards. “Once we’ve done this a few times, then you can decide if you want to be as free with your body without the commitment.”

“A few times?” A short laugh escaped her as she continued up the stairs, backwards. “I’m not sure if I’m up to a few times,” she teased.

Matt ignored her comment and continued to stalk her until the back of her knees came in contact with the edge of her bed. He wanted to erase the gleam of amusement from her eyes but damned if he wasn’t fighting the urge to grin in return. She made wanting her too easy.

“Now what?” she whispered.

Matt’s eyes fell to her mouth. “You want a blow-by-blow description? You take off your clothes. Then we get down to business.”

A laugh escaped Maggie. “You expect me to just put out?”

He shrugged. “If that’s what you want to call it, honey.”

“Maybe I’m not in the mood.” Obvious amusement flickered briefly in her eyes.

Matt shook his head and reached out to caress her cheek—an action that revealed much more than words. “It doesn’t work that way. And besides, you forget I had my fingers inside you just a few moments ago. You were wet and hot, sweetheart.” Before either one of them realized his intentions he leaned forward and touched his lips to hers in a kiss. It was too sweet. He deepened it until passion spiraled out of control. They were both slightly out of breath when he pulled away.

Maggie surprised Matt by reaching for the hem of her gown. She brought it over her head and let it drift carelessly to the floor between them. Matt’s gaze narrowed, yet he never lowered his eyes from hers. Instead, he reached forward and curled his hand around a plump breast, grazing the puckered nipple back and forth with his thumb. His reward was the warm color spreading across Maggie’s face. As he caressed first one breast and then the other, she swayed into his touch, releasing a little, breathless sigh. Her hands fell upon his shoulders, as if she needed help to remain on her feet.

Matt’s gaze fell to her breasts, their crowned peaks tilted upward slightly, seeming to beg for further attention. Attention he was only too eager to give. He bent forward and fastened his mouth onto one. Her cry echoed throughout the small cabin. Matt lifted her to continue loving her body with his mouth and tongue, tracing a path over her quivering breasts and belly below, before returning to her breasts. As he slowly lowered her against him, his mouth moved along the curve of her throat, taking her mouth in a long, searing kiss.

They were both trembling when it ended. “What about your panties?” he asked hoarsely, his nostrils flaring wildly with desire. The scent of their arousal was heavy around them, and Matt had to steel himself to take things slow.

“What about them?”

There was a challenge in her tone that Matt was only too willing to accept. His hand glided down her body until he reached them. He toyed with Maggie for a moment, running his finger along the elastic well below her bellybutton. His journey took him to the triangle outlining her mound. His finger dipped inside, brushing along the soft curls, finding them wet at the core of her. She caught her breath, trembling. His blood turned hot.

He curled his probing finger and tore the garment from her in one quick movement.

I'm pretty happy right now. I've been working, or trying to, on a new erotic romance and got stuck. I wouldn't say I had writers block, I wanted to write, I just couldn't figure out where my characters wanted me to go next. Finally today on the ride home from work, when I do most of my thinking about where to go next in a story, the hero crept into my head and gave me directions. No kidding! And it was like a light bulb going off. The solution was so easy that I'm going to reward him with something fantastic in the story.

I'm sure he'll give me some direction there, too, when the time comes:)

Pills

I hate taking pills and used to do just about anything not to take one. A headache, I preferred to suffer through it, even a migraine. I'd simply shut myself in a dark room and sleep it off, even if it took a few days. Have cramps? All I needed was the heating pad and a bed for about an hour.

I remember having a bad case of strep throat or tonsillitis for two weeks when I was a teenager and I didn't even go to the doctor. But I did miss a lot of school. Looking back I realize that was a stupid thing. I should have told my parents how sick I was.

I still don't like to take pills, but I will if I'm in enough pain. Why suffer? And some meds can save your life. I take blood pressure medicine and a tiny baby aspirin every day. I don't consider them pills, I don't even need to take water with them they're so small. My one a day vitamin is a little bigger but I force it down because it's supposed to be good for ya, right? Still not bad, just 3 pills a day.

This weekend I invested in those miracle pills that are supposed to help your joints. OMG...a horse couldn't swallow them! And I'm supposed to take two a day? I swear, my co-worker asked me if I was sure I was taking them in the right end. Which quickly prompted me into reading the bottle, in case I'd goofed. For a second there I was hoping that I had. Have you ever had one of those long oblong pills go down sideways? I wonder if anyone has choked to death on one.

If they can make a pill so small that you don't need water with it, why can't they make all pills that way? Or even better, into liquid form. Yeah, I like that idea. Because I have a feeling the older I get, the more pills I'll need.

Thank goodness the calcium I take is a chocolate flavored chewable!

How cute is this!

Monday Man Candy

What do you think of this dude?

Perks of being 50 and over...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2.In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3.No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4.People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

5.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6.There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7.Things you buy now won't wear out.

8.You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9.You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11.You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12.You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13.You sing along with elevator music.

14.Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16.Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17.Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18.Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

OMG...

If I hear, you can't spend it and have it too, one more time I'm going to break something! Why? Why can't I spend it and have it, too? That's what plastic is for. God wouldn't have created credit cards without a reason. Is there a law somewhere that says I can't spend it and have it too? There must be because my hubby is one of the smartest men I know, and he wouldn't lie to me. I've put myself on a budget but when I go shopping, and I stand there looking with longing at a new purse, he'll quietly move up beside me and whisper in my ear, "You can't spend it and have it, too."

He should be whispering sweet nothings in my ear:)

Good Information

If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. I guess I can get rid of the baseball bat.

Wasp Spray

A friend who is a receptionist in a church in a high risk area was concerned about someone coming into the office on Monday to rob them when they were counting the collection. She asked the local police department about using pepper spray and they recommended to her that she get a can of wasp spray instead.

The wasp spray, they told her, can shoot up to twenty feet away and is a lot more accurate, while with the pepper spray, they have to get too close to you and could overpower you. The wasp spray temporarily blinds an attacker until they get to the hospital for an antidote. She keeps a can on her desk in the office and it doesn't attract attention from people like a can of pepper spray would. She also keeps one nearby at home for home protection.

Wasp And Hornet Spray

On the heels of a break in and beating that left an elderly woman in Toledo dead, self defense experts have a tip that could save your life.

Val Glinka teaches self-defense to students at Sylvania Southview High School. For decades, he's suggested putting a can of wasp and hornet spray near your door or bed.

Glinka says, "This is better than anything I can teach them."

Glinka considers it inexpensive, easy to find, and more effective than mace or pepper spray. The cans typically shoot 20 to 30 feet; so if someone tries to break into your home, Glinka says, "spray the culprit in the eyes". It's a tip he's given to students for decades. It's also one he wants everyone to hear. If you're looking for protection, Glinka says look to the spray.

"That's going to give you a chance to call the police; maybe get out."

Maybe even save a life.

I'd forgotten how good a pot roast smelled while it was cooking. I haven't done one in years, I'm talking at least ten or better. I decided to cook one this weekend. I bought a small one, I'm not big on red meat, and one of those bags with the seasoning already in it. I loaded it with potatoes, carrots, onion and fresh mushrooms. Man, it's only been an hour and already the house smells so good!

I can only hope it tastes as good as it smells!

Tootles

This was sent to me by a friend, so I thought I would share. We can never be too safe in today's world.

Several things to be aware of this year...as gangs and robbers are now plotting
different ways to get a person to "stop" their vehicle.

There is a gang initiation reported by the local police department that gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it... waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the baby. Note that the location of this car seat will usually be beside a wooded or grassy (field) area ...and the person - woman - will be dragged into the woods- beaten and raped- usually left for dead.

DO NOT STOP. DIAL 9-1-1 AND INFORM THEM.....

IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSHIELD. DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5% SO YOU ARE FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF ROBBERS. THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY ROBBERS.

Looks Like a Rainy Weekend

Man, it's been steady raining here since yesterday and doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon. Last night we had a tornado sighting in our area, which prompted me into putting my bra back on. No way am I going to be found laying in a field somewhere without an over the shoulder bolder holder on. I also contemplated getting out the pillow cases for my cats, that's how scary it was for a while. But it blew over and all is good.

It's Friday, my day for running chores. I don't like being out in the rain but I will survive. Because I sure ain't going out tomorrow! It's syfy Saturday:)

I got a good chuckle out of this

How you know when love fades?

A man was sitting on the sofa watching TV when he heard his wife's voice from the kitchen: "What would you like for dinner, Love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"

He said, "Thank you; I'll have chicken."

She said "F..k You.... You're having soup. I was talking to the cat."

How do you know he's Mr. Right?

He listens to you
The best way to know if Mr. Next is interested in (and worthy of) being a candidate for Mr. Right? He listens to you. You'll know he's listening when he shows genuine concern, consistently remembers things you've told him (your birthday, favorite food, best friend's name, etc.), and offers emotional support in honest and thoughtful ways.

He connects with you easily
We've all been in those relationships that take W-O-R-K (and suck the life force out of us in the process). When a relationship works on its own, it feels effortless, easy, and fluid. You don't have to force anything, forgive anyone, or turn a blind eye to red flags or gut-twisters. Instead, you communicate and collaborate with comfort, compatibility, and undeniable chemistry. If and when you experience this kind of interaction, you are on to something really special.

He wants the real you
So often, women feel the need to sacrifice some part of themselves to make a relationship work. In the right relationship, there's no need. You don't have to hide, tone down, or apologize for any aspect of you or your fabulous life. With the right partner, you're not only able to be yourself, but you're better able to be the best version of your most authentic self -- no compromises needed.

He's trustworthy
A relationship without trust is doomed from the start.
A relationship without trust is doomed from the start. But a relationship with abundant trust? A fabulous foundation for real and lasting love! Built over time, trust is based on the simple belief system that your partner has your best interests at heart and will never intentionally hurt you (and vice versa). If and when you discover that Mr. Next is 100 percent trustworthy, you'll have no trouble giving your heart to him. In return, he'll most likely give you his heart and pave the way for a lasting, loving relationship to unfold.

He enriches your life
In the wrong relationship, your partner tears you to emotional shreds, brings you down, and in general drains your energy. In the right relationship, he enriches your life, inspires you to be your best self, and brings a sense of peace and possibility to you. You'll know Mr. Next is enriching your life if and when he encourages and supports you professionally, personally, and spiritually. And when he does, he may just be Mr. Right!

What do you think? Do we expect too much, or not enough?

This is too funny!

If you can't read it I think if you click on the picture it will enlarge it.

Nine Words Women Use

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8)Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

LOL...Y'all know it's true!!!

Monday Man Candy

Not sure if it's a good sign that his hands can cover his jewels...he's got a nice bod though:)

Hey, head on over to Cate Master's blog and check out my interview. Leave a comment. I'm giving away one ebook on Friday to one commenter.

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8 year-old son in the apartment was to send him out onto the balcony with a lollipop and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities.

He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed from the parking lot', he shouted. An ambulance just drove by.' 'Looks like the Anderson's have company', he called out. Matt's riding a new bike....' 'Looks like the Sanders are moving' 'Jason is on his skate board....'
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'

Startled, his Mother and Dad shot up in bed.

Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they are having sex?'

'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a lollipop.

Cate Masters here with us today!

Bio:

Cate Masters’ novels, novellas and short fiction appear at Eternal Press, The Wild Rose Press, Wild Child Publishing/ Freya’s Bower, Shadowfire Press and soon Whiskey Creek Press.

Her flash and short stories are published with The Battered Suitcase , A Long Story Short, Dark Sky Magazine, Cezanne’s Carrot, The Harrow, Flesh from Ashes, Quality Women’s Fiction, Phase, and The Writer’s online edition.

In 2005, Pennwriters awarded her second place in its annual Short Story contest for her literary story, All is Calm, All is Bright.

Her freelance articles have appeared in The Sentinel, Carlisle. The proud mom of three adult children, she currently lives in central Pennsylvania with her husband Gary, Lily the dog, their dictator-like cat, Chairman Maiow, and dozens of characters inhabiting her imagination.

Visit her online at www.catemasters.com and http://catemasters.blogspot.com, http://catemasters.ning.com/ or follow her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Cate-Masters/89969413736?ref=ts or Twitter: www.twitter.com/catemasters.


Blurb:

Becca Lyndon puts her dreams on hold by leaving art school to care for her ailing mom. Working full time at The Flower Basket leaves precious little time, but she squeezes in night classes at the local college. When Mike Hunter fills in as a substitute teacher, she worries about a repeat of the critical reviews he gave her work when he substituted at her high school three years earlier. His reason comes as a complete surprise, but can she trust him? Or will he disappear like her father? When that possibility looms all too real, she’s determined never to let the design for her life unravel again. Following her bliss requires work, but pays off in more ways than she ever imagined. She also learns that one door might close, but another can open—and lead to unexpected opportunities.

Available Feb. 10, 2010 from The Wild Rose Press

Trailer

Website Updates

When you get the chance check out my website, almost every page has been updated!

Tootles!

Yes...or No?

A co-worker and I got into a heated but friendly discussion about whether Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift look enough alike to be sisters. Just because they both have blond hair doesn't make them look like sisters, I told her. I think Carrie Underwood is beautiful, in a Grace Kelly sort of way. Taylor Swift is very pretty, too, but I think she has to work at it a little harder. Both are extremely talented. No disagreements, there.

So, we pull up pictures of them side by side. No way, they don't look anything a like, I repeat. My co-worker argues they could be sisters. What do you think? I told my co-worker I'd put this up on my blog to see what kind of a reaction I get.

I put up two pictures. My co-worker said to be fair and put up good pictures. Well, showing them wearing the same exact dress can't get any fairer! LOL Now look them over closely and get past the hair color and style.

Do you think they look enough alike to be sisters? Yes or no my friends.

GOD is Busy

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between
assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One
of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member
of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'GOD if you are real
then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15
min. The lecture room fell silent.. You could hear a pin drop. Ten
minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, I'm still
waiting.'

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine
went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What
in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?'

The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting
America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid
stuff and act like an idiot... So HE sent me.'

The classroom erupted in cheers!

The Mama Test

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth.

I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked.

'Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs,' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Mama, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly and replied, 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mama Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mama.'

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. 'Oh.....I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the dad.'

'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

Name My Next Heroine!

Hey friends, if you haven't noticed the name my next hero poll off to the right, please take time to look it over and vote. And if you want a chance to name my next heroine, that poll is located on my yahoo group page.

Winning names will be featured in my next erotic romance!

This is priceless!

A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to 'Enter a password,' something he will use to log on with.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in: P..... E..... N..... I..... S....

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer screen read: PASSWORD DENIED, NOT LONG ENOUGH

Boy, that wind was fierce out there today! It rained all the way into work this morning, but it was the wind on the way home that caught me by surprise. I could barely keep my car on the road. And now it's getting colder. Yippee!

Ever noticed how some people don't know how to drive in bad weather? I swear they won't slow down for nothing! Truckers are the worst offenders. I usually set my cruise control between 60-70 on the interstate, slower when the weather is bad. By the way some drivers speed past me, in the blinding rain, they have to be going 80 or faster. An accident waiting to happen.

Husbands for Sale

Okay, I'm pretty certain that this had to be written by a man! LOL

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!


There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Monday Man Candy

I could look at this dream boat all damn day!


This picture was sent to me by a friend and I have to say, he's my perfect man. He's what I picture in my head, heart and yes, bed, when I write about the heroes in my books. There isn't anything about him that doesn't get the heart pounding. And ladies...I'm not sharing this one! So, you can look, drool, dream, but you can't have him:)