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If you're looking for a steamy read, long, short or in between, where the characters are all over each other, get down and dirty, than I can guarantee that you will find something here. I'm going to level with you, my erotic romances are explicit and graphic in nature, but they all have happily forever or happily for now endings.


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TORY RICHARDS

Erotic Author

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How Fights Start

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift..The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"And that's how the fight started.....

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'And that's when the fight started....

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?''No,' she answered.I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'And that's when the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.And that's when the fight started......

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first..'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?''Nah, she can order for herself.'And that's when the fight started.....

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.She asked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.'And then the fight started...

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to200 in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a scale.And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.I asked her , 'Do you know him?''Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.''My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'And then the fight started...

I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,'I AM NOT HAPPY!'So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'And then the fight started...

AND LAST...THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf 'Always something more important to me.Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass,you might as well sweep the driveway.'The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

4 comments:

Nancy Bristow said...

Debbie...Grins. Also points for living alone....Nancy:)

s7anna said...

Hi Tori/Debbie,
Never really sure what I should call you...??? Let me know will ya...I would greatly appreciate it...
Now moving on...where on earth did you find all these hilarious jokes???
By the way, I loved reading The Cowboy Way...I look forward to reading more of your work...I promise to put up a review of your book on my blog at some point...I'm a blogging virgin so it's slow going for me...I kind of jumped in with both feet into the active online community thing...

Happy Reading!!!
Anna Shah Hoque
s7anna@yahoo.ca
http://s7anna.blogspot.com/
*Feel free to drop by and give me advice on how I can improve my blog overall...I'm loving it soo far... It has been a fabulous experience...I totally understand how blogging and Facebooking(I started doing that a month ago) can be soo darn addictive!!!

Tory Richards said...

I've never lived alone Nancy. There are days I'd like to give it a try, though:)

Tory Richards said...

It's Debbie:) Myspace is addicting, too! I have 5 email accounts and friends and readers are always sending me great stuff. I like to share.

I sure will hop over to your blog and check it out. And thank you so much for reading THE COWBOY WAY. Glad to hear that you enjoyed it. I'd be honored if you added a review of it on your blog.