I hope you've reached the right place, and I hope that you're over eighteen. This website is for adults only. No, I don't sell adult toys or videos or anything like that, this isn't a porn site. But it is the site of an erotic romance writer.


If you're looking for a steamy read, long, short or in between, where the characters are all over each other, get down and dirty, than I can guarantee that you will find something here. I'm going to level with you, my erotic romances are explicit and graphic in nature, but they all have happily forever or happily for now endings.


Enter at your own risk!


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TORY RICHARDS

Erotic Author

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors!


1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

9 comments:

susan said...

Love Maxine and she sure fits the bill for a good laugh. I hope to see more of her sayings in future posts. susan L.

susan said...

Have to say your books look hot and I am sure they are. I love to enter contests and find new authors and their books. I hope to get lucky enough to win a contest once in awhile. I am glad you are listed under authorsisland.com welcome to the group. susan L.

JoanneR said...

Funny, funny!
Caught you on authorisland!

Tory Richards said...

Hi Susan...welcome from Authorisland! Always nice to see someone from there. And yes, my books are hot...if I do say so myself! LOL

Tory Richards said...

Welcome from Authorisland, Joanne! Hope you won't be a stranger:)

Nancy Bristow said...

Debbie...I laughed out loud and you already know I love Maxine. The whole list is closer to the truth than perhaps we want to admit;) ....Nancy

etirv said...

This is so funny and right on! Exactly what I needed, thank you!

delilah0180(at)yahoo(dot)com

Tory Richards said...

I knew you'd get a good chuckle Nancy. She's a hoot! And you're right about the comments being close to the truth. Number 10 comes to mind:)

Tory Richards said...

Ah...do you know this from experience Delilah? LOL