...men's answer to Maxine! I thought this was cute. A friend sent it to me. The responses in red are my own thoughts:)
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it. (I'd pour it over his head:))
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. (See? Men do need us more than we need them!)
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. (Well...if they didn't have that beer gut...)
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....' (Yeah right! When have we ever started a sentence like that?)
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. (What's wrong with that?)
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. (Well, if you let us in first we wouldn't come in bitching because you let the dog in first! Idiot!)
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. (Again, could it be that attractive beer gut?)
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to. (No argument from me:))
Face it men, you're not going to win!