Sunday, September 14, 2008

Through the Eyes of a Rapist

Not a very pleasant topic but it might help us better understand how easy we sometimes make it for them.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hair style that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30am.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two: is office parking lots/garages. Number three: is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look him in the face and ask him a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here," "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back.Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat him with strength but you can by outsmarting him If you are grabbed around the waist from be hind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts..

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly..

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!! IF YOU FEEL SCARED, GO WITH YOUR FEELINGS. DO NOT BE A NICE SOUTHERNER WHO WILL HELP ANYONE. You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.


Ruby (Mouth) said...

Wow! It might not be a happy subject, but that sure was good to know. The more knowledge we have the better we are prepared. Thnks!!

Nancy Bristow said...

Debbie...I've always believed that knowledge is power. Thanks....Nancy

ddurance said...

Those are scary thoughts. I didn't realize that most occur in the early part of the morning. I always knew public restaurants were frightening places though, for more than one reason it seems.


Tara W said...

I'm rarely without a ponytail. I do tend to talk on the cell phone while walking and my pepper spray lies at the bottom of my purse more often than not. The public restroom was a shocker for me. I will stop being CARELESS!

Thanks for posting this.

Debbie Wallace said...

That's how I feel, Ruby. I'm always passing stuff like this on to my daughter and niece. They in turn roll their eyes. They think I over react. However, I have noticed a change since my daughter gave birth to her daughter:)

Debbie Wallace said...

Right on, Nancy! How's the reading going?

Debbie Wallace said...

Hi Deidre, could be a coincidence but seems when I hear something on the news about a rapist it's usually a morning attack. I never realized it before.

Debbie Wallace said...

You're welcome, Tara. And it seems EVERYONE is always on their cell phones these days! But at least now you might be more aware of what could happen.